Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jobs. Show all posts
Friday, June 01, 2012
"Comedy Nation This Week" - June 1, 2008
Here's today's podcast with panelists Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:
Panelists discuss, the jobs report, John Edwards acquittal, cannibals and spies.
Trippitorial – Commencement Day
This is the
time of year when students are graduating and speeches are commencing. And so
to graduates of the 2012 Trippitorials, I would like to say this:
Dean,
President, Chancellor , faculty, members of the Board of Trustees, beloved
parents, grandparents, great grandparents,
not so great parents, graduates, friends of the class of 2012, Senators,
Congressmen, distinguished alumni:
As I look out
at all your faces here today, I can’t see any of them because I’m in a radio
station in North Hollywood. But that doesn’t mean I don’t see the hope in those
feces…faces. And to that I say, stop hoping. If you don’t have a job now,
you’re probably not going to get one, so why bother.
Statistically,
nobody would be surprised if you moved back into your parent’s basement and
kept eating their food. So I say, do it. When are you gonna have another chance
like this? Your first divorce?
Today’s job
market is abysmal. My advice to you is to borrow money from Mitt Romney’s
parents and stay in school. Rack up another degree and another battery of
student loans. You’re not gonna be able to get a job, so you might as well keep
learning. And maybe the bank will learn a lesson when you can’t pay back any of
their usurious loans.
In closing, I
want you question everything you’ve been told in school. But do not question
me. It is quite possible you have been lied to, indoctrinated, usurped, taught,
tamed, torn, trained, tricked, broken, educated and diverted from your true
nature. What if your teachers were wrong? What if they were, in fact, insane?
Congratulations,
Class of 2012. Your parents are proud of you. They’re glad to finally get rid
of you. Hopefully.
Buy The Hierophant:
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Live Tweets from the State of the Union
January
24, 2012, 3:54 pm PST James Tripp @thejamestripp
will be live tweeting the State of the Union tonight beginning at 6
pm PST. Meanwhile, check out this DVD extra: youtu.be/FxwcJx0-21E
is hoping the #GOP
side acts like a #GOPDebate audience.
Hail to the tweets
It looks like John Kerry was Swift
Boated again.
I'll bet if #NewtGingrich
was hugging Congresswoman #Giffords,
he'd leave her.
Republicans unsure if they should
applaud America.
Obama should run for President.
When Obama asked everyone to work
together, only one side was applauding.
The #GOP like
the rules the way they are.
I helped bail out #GM
and I don't even own a car.
"The American #Auto
industry is back!" Cough! Hack!
doesn't
know if it's a good thing that a lock maker is working at full capacity.
What kind of tax cut should a
comedian get?
Can you [Obama]
sign my tax form?
I will go
to any market and not find any American products.
Our workers
are the most productive in the world as long as I can leave early on Friday.
Obama was
supposed to point at me in the chamber, but there was no point.
If this
was a #GOPDebate, when #Obama
said, "Lay off teachers..." there would have been applause.
"Boots on the Border"
sounds like a #Porn
movie.
Oil isn't
enough. I want more, more, more!
The gas in
the chamber could last 200 years.
How will
the #oil
industry survive without tax credits?
Send #Obama
a bill that creates a job for me.
"Fair
share of taxes?" #MittRomney is covering his ears.
Is #ChrisDodd
listening?
Finally "Finally."
The #2012 campaign is off and
running.
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