Well, the Democratic convention is over, and they win. And
while President Obama didn’t
sing, like I was hoping he would, he didn’t have to. The DNC had a much better talent booker
than the RNC. Hollywood was in the DNC house! Why couldn't my agent get
me a gig as a DNC delegate? I think most of the delegates there were
probably represented by Rahm Emanuel's
brother, the Hollywood agent. Not me. Scarlet Johansson made a speech. I'd
listen to her even if she was just talking to an empty chair.
The Democrats had some top acts. The Republicans couldn’t
even license music. The artists didn’t want royalties from royalists. The best
the Republicans could do was hire G.E. Smith and his cover band, which was good
because they needed the work. There aren’t too many high school mixers when
school is out. Listening to the Republican convention was like listening to a YouTube
video where the original music was removed because of copyright violation and replaced
by something in the public domain. Even Chris Christie’s favorite singer. Bruce Springsteen was heard at the DNC, but
not at the RNC. They did have Clint
Eastwood, who I’m sure, during president Obama’s acceptance speech, was
yelling at his television.
One thing was the same about both conventions. The chants
of “USA! USA!” Apparently the Democrats were in the same place as
the Republicans. Overall, I’d
say the Democratic convention
was inspirational and the Republican
convention was full of doom and gloom, which, incidentally, is my name for Romney
and Ryan. The DNC looked like America in 2012. The RNC looked like the USA in 1950.
The Republicans seemed like the party of yesterday, it
was your grandfather’s party. “Shove it up your ass.” Oh sure, sometimes he
says crazy things, but that’s grandpa, he doesn’t know any better. The DNC had more statesmen than RNC.
There were a lot of women on the DNC stage and I don’t think any of them will vote for Mitt Romney even though Ann Romney loves women. Some of those union thug
teachers were represented at the DNC. The Vice President’s wife, Dr. Jill Biden,
is a teacher, although I got the feeling if she had been my teacher, she would have given me detention.
The DNC seemed more serious about education. Republicans
think people should be educated, but they shouldn't be so educated that they
vote for Democrats.
There was a film about senator Ted Kennedy, and by the
time it was over, you wanted to vote for him. And why not? If the RNC is registering dead voters, the DNC should run dead candidates. I’ll
bet he’d win. Ted Kennedy for Zombie President! I’m glad I didn't
play the Kennedy drinking game. There’s
more now than ever! They kept popping up everywhere. They’re like Tribbles!
The GOP didn’t seem to want to talk about their living
ex-Presidents, or their candidate for that matter, but the DNC had a major
speech by former president Bill Clinton. He wanted to talk about arithmetic,
which I was prepared for because I had just sharpened a number 2 pencil. Clinton
looked like he was having fun. For a minute, I thought he was going to announce
he was running. The crowd was shouting "four more years" for whom?
The DNC
speakers weren't afraid to talk about their candidate. I'm not sure if most of
the speakers at the RNC knew who their candidate was. It seemed like some of
them were running for 2016. I won’t vote for them then either. I’ll probably be
running myself. And I’ll ask, "Are you better off now than you will be in
four years?"
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