Here's yesterday's episode of "Comedy Nation This Week" podcast with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:
The panel discusses SOPA, PIPA, the North Carolina GOP Primary, the cruise ship disaster and more.
Tripptitorial: Corporations Want to Control Everything!
From this
day forth, I will no longer be known as James Tripp. I will be known as James Tripp,
Inc. I recently incorporated to avoid federal election spending limits and for the limited liability because I’m liable to do
anything. Was’t Hamlet wronged Laertes? Never Hamlet. Twas Hamlet’s
corporation.
People are
not corporations. Sure, anybody can put an Inc. on their name, but a
corporation is so much more than an individual. For example: an individual
would not think to patent his own DNA, but a corporation would! As a matter of
fact, I don’t own the licensing on several of my chromosomes, which can
sometimes be a problem.
Corporations
want to control everything! They want to control the internet! I’m afraid to
look at porn on the internet, because they’re probably looking at me! The big media companies would like to turn the internet into
something they can control, but they can’t control James Tripp!
I don’t care
about the intellectual property rights of corporations; they’re rights they
stole from my friends! I remember the non-union deals everyone was getting on
those cable shows that ruined stand-up in the 80’s and 90’s. They were
$300-$500 buyouts for unlimited rights. Now the producers of those shows are
selling the performances on DVD, on Hulu, Netflix and any other means of
distribution not yet created and none of my friends are getting paid anything! But
Budd Friedman was able to buy a new monocle. Now he can see out of both eyes. Fie
on corporations, I say! Fie!
You know
what scares big media corporations? In the digital age, intellectual property
originators don’t need them. We no longer need the middle man and creative
corporate accountants to get paid. We just need to set up a website and reach
our audience directly. That’s what scares them.
Corporate
interests want to put a stop to this. They want to keep artists on the
plantation. They’re trying to change the way the internet operates to make it
more like radio and TV where they control the content.
They want to
reshape the internet, which was created by the government with taxpayer money,
so that their content and services---and those of companies that pay steep
fees---will travel quickly along a “fast lane.” Everything else, like “Comedy Nation This Week” would be stuck in a “slow lane.” They want to charge
different prices for different things. They also want to be able to charge
website owners rates for them to be able to access their customers. They want
to make money off of both sides.
SOPA and PIPA
are a flanking a move in the corporate attack on net neutrality. You think
traffic’s bad in LA, wait until you get in the internet slow lane. Hey, I have enough troubles already. Not
only do I have road rage. I have walking rage. Now I’m gonna have internet
rage.
Maybe it’s time to re-regulate
the mainstream media. Regulation of vertical monopolies is not necessarily a
bad thing. This is James Tripp, Inc.; I’ll be back next week with another Trippitorial,
God Damnit!
