Trippitorial - "Election Money"

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Trippitorial - "The Supreme Corporation"

Citing its own 2010 Citizens United ruling as precedent, the Supreme Court struck down a century old Montana state campaign finance law that limits corporate political spending. The court stated, "Political speech does not lose first amendment protection simply because its source is a corporation."

That’s why from now on I will no longer be known as James Tripp. I will be known as James Tripp, Inc. I am incorporating to avoid federal election spending limits and for the limited liability because I’m liable to do anything. Was’t Hamlet wronged Laertes? Never Hamlet. Twas Hamlet’s corporation.

When corporations incorporate, they do it to limit their liability. So when people form a corporation, they do it because they know they’re going to do something they don’t want to be liable for.

Corporations are artificial creations whose sole purpose is to increase profit.  For them to have a profit, somebody else has to have a loss, in this case, real people.

If corporations are people, let them walk my dog and pick up his shit. Of course, I don’t have a dog, but that’s not important to the point I’m trying to make. “Down, boy.”

People are not corporations. Sure, anybody can put an Inc. On their name, but a corporation is so much more than an individual. For example: an individual would not think to patent his own DNA, but a corporation would. As a matter of fact I don’t own the licensing on several of my chromosomes, which can sometimes be a problem.

Why, some of my best friends are incorporated. The fed, Citibank, the Republican Party…I wouldn’t want my sister to marry one.

Corporate spending makes voting obsolete. Now if we could just make corporations obsolete by voting.

Over the years, the court’s become more diverse. There’s an African American, women and a Latina on the bench. Isn’t it about time the president appoints a corporation to the Supreme Court? I think there may be one on there already.

America is not a corporation or a Democracy or a Republic. I don’t know what it is, but I owe it taxes.

This is James Tripp, inc., a Delaware corporation, and I’ll be back with another Trippitorial.

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Trippitorial - "Super Pacs"

I am announcing today that I will accept support from any outside Super Pac wishing to advocate for James Tripp for President, even though I am not running. This is not a reversal of position. This is a course correction. And while some may say I may have said something else in the past about some things, some people would be better off moving on to other things.

We’re not going to fight this fight we’re not in with one hand tied behind our back…backs…back. We can’t allow the people who are running to operate under a different set of rules from the people who are not running. The campaign that we are not in has to face the reality of the campaign that people are in.

While I may not have spoken out in favor of Super Pacs in the past, it is not important to note that I spoke out against them, because before you can be for something, you have to be against it. And how can you know for sure if you’re against something, if you never tried to be for something? I don’t think you can.

This is a good time for people with no affiliation to James Tripp to start saying bad things about people who are not James Tripp. You can start off by saying, “He’s no James Tripp!” What you end up saying about the bad people who are not James Tripp is no business of James Tripp and I distance myself from it. I am shocked by it, and I would ask the people who are saying it to stop saying it after everybody has heard what you said.

This is not a step I take lightly. As a matter of fact, when I finish this Trippitorial, I’m going to sit down. The Citizen United ruling opened the door for more money and ad spending in the 2012 election cycle than in any previous election cycle in the history of the world and I want a piece of it, even though I am not running. It almost makes you wish somebody were saying something that wasn’t about somebody else, but I wouldn’t say that.

You know, my mother used to say, “If you have nothing nice to say about a person, don’t say anything at all.” I have nothing to say about my mother and I have nothing bad to say about some of the other candidates who are in the race I’m not in, but somebody else might. If some other group wants to say that Romney’s not too bright, or that Obama was born in Ubecky-Becky-Becky-Becky-Stan-Stan, there’s nothing I can do about that. But you can, if you contribute today.

This is not a time for candidates to be saying anything. This is a time for people who are not affiliated with the candidates to be saying things about people who aren’t affiliated to other people saying things!
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James Tripp For President's Day

"Comedy Nation This Week" - Premiere Episode - January 13, 2012

Here's yesterday's premiere podcast of "Comedy Nation This Week" with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:

Tripptitorial: Campaign Self-Financing

We have to change the way campaigns are financed. Too many rich people are running vanity campaigns with unlimited self-financing. Contributors want bang for their buck. When these kinds of candidates get into office they’re going to owe themselves favors, which I think is a sin in the Catholic Church.

Are these the kind of representatives we want in Washington? Are these the kinds of representatives we still want in Washington?

According to followthemoney.org, Mitt Romney contributed 65.04 % of his 2002 campaign for 

Massachusetts Governor himself for a total of $6,150,570. And what did he get for his six million dollars?

The office of Governor of the state of Massachusetts. He’s no Oscar Goldman.

When he ran for Governor in a liberal state, he ran as a liberal Republican. When he decided to run for President in 2008, some of his liberal positions did not mesh with the far right Republican base he needed to win in the primaries. But he was the Six Million Dollar Man. “We can rebuild him. We can make him more conservative than he was.”

But his campaign needed more money--- more of Mitt’s money. Romney’s campaign for President raised $88.5 million in 2007, according to opensecrets.org, but $35.4 million of that was contributed by the candidate, which turned out to be a bad investment. He was no Steve Austin. Even “The Bionic Woman” ran for three years, although I didn’t really watch the remake…but what you’re listening to has digressed.

In this election cycle, Romney has his own Pac of Pacs and Super Pacs and mediocre Pacs which can contribute to his campaign. Is it fair for one man to have so many Pacs when I don’t even have one? I say, “No.” And it wouldn’t surprise me if the Mrs. had a Pac, man! What a horrible bump in a monologue that seemed to be leading somewhere.

Jon Huntsman has self-financed 50% of his campaign according to opensecrets.org, contributing $2,249,481 through September 30, 2011.

Governor Rick Perry contributed no money to his own campaign, so he’s not as dumb as he may seem.

Herman Cain contributed 13% of the total cost of his campaign through September 30, 2011 or $675,000. That’s a lot of pizza dough and an offer a lot of people refused.

Newt Gingrich so far has not contributed to his own campaign. I guess they wouldn’t let him charge it.

“Well, I’d contribute to my campaign, if I could just set up some kind of revolving credit plan…” This makes him more of a George W. Bush Republican than a Reagan Republican. He’ll take you to war, but only if he doesn’t have to pay for it until much later---like when he’s out of office.

Even Rick Santorum is spending his own money on his campaign, approximately $45,199, representing 4% of his budget, when what he really ought to be doing is putting that money in the basket on Sunday. Can I get an "Amen?"

Fred Karger, the first openly gay man to seek the Republican nomination, confirming the fact that he’s more confused than even he realizes, contributed $300,924 to his run which represented 84% of his campaign budget through September 30.

Former Governor Buddy Roemer, the only Presidential candidate talking about campaign finance reform spent $45,100 of his own money just to be excluded from the debates for not having enough money. Roemer made a pledge not to accept any Pac money or pledges greater than $100, so we won’t be hearing any more about him.

If I run for president, I pledge not to accept any campaign contributions, especially from myself.

It’s one thing to throw my vote away, but my money? Maybe my campaign can get a bailout from the government. It really doesn’t matter which one.

"The DAMage Report" - July 5, 2011

Here's yesterday's show with me, Steve Gelder, Rick Overton and host Johnny Dam:

"The DAMage Report" - April 14, 2011

Here's today's show with me, Steve Gelder and host Johnny Dam: