Monday, October 22, 2007

Tripp Comments on Colbert

Comedian and Presidential candidate James Tripp today issued his first statement since Stephen Colbert entered the race for President.

“I’m glad to see another serious journalist enter this contest,” said Tripp. “Now maybe this campaign can be about something that nobody ever talks about and I’m certainly not.”

Tripp asserted that he was not afraid of the competition. “I think we’re going to run a close race with Mr. Colbert in South Carolina,” said Tripp, “but we plan on beating him everywhere else.”

The comedian and Presidential candidate denied that he had any prior knowledge that Mr. Colbert would make his announcement. “I only wish I did,” said Tripp. “I could have announced that he was going to announce that he would make an announcement about an announcement he would be making.”

Sunday, September 09, 2007

A Very Special Announcement

“Previously I issued a statement that I would not be making an announcement about making an announcement which was not an announcement,” said possible Presidential candidate and comedian James Tripp. “Today I can announce that I will be making an announcement about making an announcement which will be an announcement.”

Sources close to Tripp reported that the potential candidate today taped a very special segment of The Ointment, an internet talk and news show parody in which he will announce his candidacy.

The date the show will air was not immediately released.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

James Tripp To Explore Exploring

Comedian James Tripp, who ran for President of the United States in 2000 and 2004, today announced the formation of an exploratory committee to investigate whether or not he should form an exploratory committee to study the feasibility of forming an exploratory committee.

“We have to explore what it is we should be exploring before we explore anything,” said Tripp. “It may necessitate the formation of a new committee to determine if we need to form a new committee.”

Tripp asserted that the existence of did not necessarily indicate that he was already running. It is, according to Tripp, “a happy coincidence.” Said Tripp, “MySpace is free. When we set up a page that we’re paying for, then it will become more serious.” An unconfirmed source reported that Americans for James Tripp will set up a new site this Tuesday.

“We have explored exploring the exploration of an exploratory committee in the past and every time our exploration has yielded results which led to the formation of an exploratory committee,” said Tripp.