Friday, January 27, 2012
Here's today's podcast of the "Free Speech Show" with me, Laurie Buckley and host Bill Bronner:
Here's today's episode of "Comedy Nation This Week" with me, Laurie Buckley, and host Bill Bronner:
The Panel Discusses the State of the Union, the GOP Florida debates and more.
Trippitorial: Class Warfare
When Rick Perry pulled out of the Republican race, I expected him to endorse me, but instead he endorsed a Newt. I don’t blame him though. Newt probably yelled at him, and we know how mean Newt can be. Maybe he thinks he can be Newt’s Vice President. He could be the new Dan Quayle. Nobody’s would assassinate Newt Gingrich if Rick Perry was the Vice President.
Jon Huntsman was poised to endorse me, but obviously somebody got to him and he ended up endorsing twit Romney. It’s almost like they don’t even want to acknowledge I’m in this race even though I’m not.
And then Huntsman accused ex-president Barack Obama (if I get in this race) of provoking class warfare. The only thing Jon Huntsman provoked was James Tripp, even if I’m not running.
Who is causing class warfare? The people eliminating the middle class. It’s not the people being eliminated. Shut your pie hole! It’s like Newt Gingrich blaming me for him eating too many Twinkies! Shut your pie hole, Newt and you won’t get so fat! If you’re not a poster boy for gluttony, then you’re probably a poster boy for something else that may explode at any minute from a continual internal combustion of bile.
The class who benefit by exploiting another class doesn’t want it pointed out. They’d make it illegal to discuss if they could get away with it. They’d call it sedition, or some word like that that fat people say to keep skinny people from eating the food.
But I digress, and it’s a good thing too. The upper class accuses the lower class of fomenting a class war to silence them. The rich foment a class war by hoarding all the wealth. If the poor foment anything it won’t be a war, it will be a revolution. Wars are for the rich. You need uniforms. The poor can’t afford uniforms! They’re lucky to have shoes!
So shut up about a class war, because if you want a class war, you’ll get a class war. At least that’s what Rambo said…I think.
Be careful what rhetoric you pursue, you may not like where it takes you, you silly primary Republicans! Put that in your twitter and tweet it!
I’m James Tripp and I’ll be back next week with another Trippitorial!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Will the crowd be muzzled or rabid?
They continue to use the same wardrobe consultant.
when you need him?
is thrilled to be tweeting.
Why is no one yelling?
Someone got to them.
Let's get those grandmothers to work!
"I doubt that's my ad. I'm not sure if I'm running for President."
Do politicians need more
I think it's important we don't use the word castigate.
doesn't feel so good himself.
One of these days...bang...zoom...
The Panama Canal is beinc widened so
#Newt can fit through.
We need to beat
to the moon before they build a wall around it.
"We need to repeal insurance reform and go to the moon and unseat Castro."
Whose father can beat up whose father
Whose girlfriend will make the best first mistress
What reporter will be the best White House press corps reporter
What kind of a tree would you be
Did you write these questions yourself
Let's get back to the debate
It's about time someone invade the
We should poison
with a cigar.
We need a blockade around
One of these things is not like the others.
#3's hair has not moved since the last debate.
I have more money than anyone else.
I can't wait until the next
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
January 24, 2012, 3:54 pm PST James Tripp
will be live tweeting the State of the Union tonight beginning at 6
pm PST. Meanwhile, check out this DVD extra: youtu.be/FxwcJx0-21E
Hail to the tweets
It looks like John Kerry was Swift Boated again.
Republicans unsure if they should applaud America.
Obama should run for President.
When Obama asked everyone to work together, only one side was applauding.
the rules the way they are.
I helped bail out
and I don't even own a car.
industry is back!" Cough! Hack!
doesn't know if it's a good thing that a lock maker is working at full capacity.
What kind of tax cut should a comedian get?
Can you [Obama] sign my tax form?
I will go to any market and not find any American products.
Our workers are the most productive in the world as long as I can leave early on Friday.
Obama was supposed to point at me in the chamber, but there was no point.
"Boots on the Border" sounds like a
Oil isn't enough. I want more, more, more!
The gas in the chamber could last 200 years.
How will the
industry survive without tax credits?
a bill that creates a job for me.
"Fair share of taxes?"
#MittRomney is covering his ears.
January 24, 2012, 7:02 PST James Tripp
The #2012 campaign is off and running.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
When I was a reporter for the Martha’s Vineyard Times during the nineteen-eighties, one of my beats was the town of Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts. A story I covered concerned a private beach club, the East Chop Beach Club, suing the town over the ownership of a bulkhead.
At the turn of the 20th century, the body of water adjacent to the beach club was known as Squash Pond and was probably fresh water. At that time, about 300 feet of beach land was taken by eminent domain and a channel was dredged, creating a salt water harbor. In the 1930’s the town built a bulkhead. In order to do this, Oak Bluffs was granted an easement to give them access to build and maintain the bulkhead. Members of the town and residents of Oak Bluffs both shared the use of the bulkhead. In 1958, the beach club became a yacht club but kept the beach club name. The town said that they maintained the bulkhead until 1978, when the private club constructed a gate at the entrance to the bulkhead, limiting the town’s access.
The town owned two acres of beachfront adjacent to the club and you had to cross over club owned land to get to it. This easement remained unobstructed and I would often use that stretch of beach as it was close to where I lived. I would also jog through there during my morning run. One dawn I noticed that the club had started to construct a second fence. This one was on the beach separating their beach from the town beach. It was an eyesore.
By this time, I had quit the Martha’s Vineyard Times twice, which is another story. I was working at a radio station, but this didn’t seem like much of a radio story. It was more of a literary event. I decided to write a letter to the editor and in addition to my former paper, I also submitted it to the Martha's Vineyard Gazette, which was established in 1846. The Martha’s Vineyard Times was established right before I got there. That’s another story.
I remember when I hand delivered the letter to my old paper, the News Editor asked, “Is this an exclusive? Are you just giving this to us?”
And a reporter who knew me better than he did said, “No, he wants this to be read.”
She was right. I gave the letter to both papers. As a matter of fact, I gave it to the Gazette first. They had an earlier filing deadline.
So here’s the letter I wrote. There’s a lot of metaphor. You may be able to tell I had recently graduated from college with an English degree. Some people liked this letter. Some people did not. This is what it said:
August 12, 1985
To the Editor:
I was sitting on the public beach in East Chop early one morning late last week, reading a book, when Robert Frost suddenly said, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, that sends the frozen-ground-swell under it and spills the upper boulders in the sun, and makes gaps even two can pass abreast.” It was not an unusual thing for the poet to say. He had said it before.
I looked up from the book and noticed that someone had started to build a wooden fence to separate the town owned beach from that portion claimed by the East Chop Beach Club. Whoever the builder was must have done it during the night or on a previous day, for there was no one at the half completed structure to take responsibility for what was being done.
"The gaps I mean," Frost said, "No one has seen them made or heard them made, but at spring mending-time we find them there."
I stood up and walked over to investigate the fence builder’s handiwork. I brought the book with me.
It was shaping up to be a fine fence as fences go. The builder had gone to the trouble of pouring concrete into the sand to anchor the wooden poles. Further down the line, there were already other holes dug to pour more concrete in to anchor more poles to complete the structure.
As I said before, it was early. The beach was deserted. I looked over at the beach club building and its structure seemed to say, “Good fences make good neighbors.” I think if there had been a member there, I would have asked him to explain.
And Frost said, "We do not need the wall: He is all pine and I am apple orchard. My apple trees will never get across and eat the cones under his pines.”
Although I don’t always agree with Frost, he was right this time. But I didn’t tell him because I would never hear the end of it. I put the book down and ran into the water. There, the beach club had no authority to build a wall.
On Saturday I returned to the beach with my book and the fence was almost complete. There was someone in the employ of the beach club making a great deal of noise, banging wooden boards onto the fence. The worker then proceeded to staple signs to the board which read: "WARNING! NO TRESPASSING. THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY. Hunting, Fishing, Trapping or Trespassing for any purpose is Prohibited Under Penalty of the Law." It was a common sign, not made expressly for the club.
When the worker was done, so was the fence done. He returned to whatever his other duties were at the club. Perhaps he worked at the front desk making sure that everyone who passed his way was a member.
"Before 'I built a wall," Frost took up where he had left off a previous day, "I'd ask to know what I was walling in or walling out, and to whom I was like to give offense." The poet sounded angry, but the beach club did not listen.
I put the book down to go for a short swim. On my walk to the water I wondered if there would be more fences at the bulkhead if the beach club won the pending land court case.
"Something there is," Frost grumbled as I dove into the sound, "that doesn't love a wall, that wants it down.”
The Editor of the Martha’s Vineyard Times gave the letter the headline: “Frost on Walls.” I forget what banner was used by the Martha’s Vineyard Gazette. One of my roommates, who sold ads at my paper, asked me if I really had a Robert Frost book with me. I said, “No.” That seemed to bother him. He shouldn’t have been bothered; the letter was the result of the scars of a New England liberal arts education. It was bound to come out that way. He had had a New England business school education---different perspective. It probably would have bothered him to know that I really wasn’t at the beach that first day. I was just jogging through. That’s when I got some of my best ideas. One of my other roommates was a typesetter for the Gazette. She typeset my letter. She didn’t get it either. She thought I was weird. Those two were actually having summer sex with each other---nothing serious. I’m not sure if they got each other.
It turned out I was right to put the letter in the Gazette. Someone on the Planning Commission told me his father read the letter out loud at the dinner table. The next time the Planning Commission met, they determined the fence was built without a permit and they made the East Chop Beach Club take it down.
I don’t know how the lawsuit turned out. I didn’t stay on the island much longer. I did an internet search and I couldn’t find anything about it. I don’t really care anyway. That’s not the point of the story.
I remember that every time one of the DJ’s at the radio station saw me he said, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, that wants it down.”
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Here's yesterday's podcast of the "Free Speech Show" with me, Laurie Buckley, Patrick Devine and host Bill Bronner:
Here's yesterday's episode of "Comedy Nation This Week" podcast with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:
The panel discusses SOPA, PIPA, the North Carolina GOP Primary, the cruise ship disaster and more.
Tripptitorial: Corporations Want to Control Everything!
From this day forth, I will no longer be known as James Tripp. I will be known as James Tripp, Inc. I recently incorporated to avoid federal election spending limits and for the limited liability because I’m liable to do anything. Was’t Hamlet wronged Laertes? Never Hamlet. Twas Hamlet’s corporation.
People are not corporations. Sure, anybody can put an Inc. on their name, but a corporation is so much more than an individual. For example: an individual would not think to patent his own DNA, but a corporation would! As a matter of fact, I don’t own the licensing on several of my chromosomes, which can sometimes be a problem.
Corporations want to control everything! They want to control the internet! I’m afraid to look at porn on the internet, because they’re probably looking at me! The big media companies would like to turn the internet into something they can control, but they can’t control James Tripp!
I don’t care about the intellectual property rights of corporations; they’re rights they stole from my friends! I remember the non-union deals everyone was getting on those cable shows that ruined stand-up in the 80’s and 90’s. They were $300-$500 buyouts for unlimited rights. Now the producers of those shows are selling the performances on DVD, on Hulu, Netflix and any other means of distribution not yet created and none of my friends are getting paid anything! But Budd Friedman was able to buy a new monocle. Now he can see out of both eyes. Fie on corporations, I say! Fie!
You know what scares big media corporations? In the digital age, intellectual property originators don’t need them. We no longer need the middle man and creative corporate accountants to get paid. We just need to set up a website and reach our audience directly. That’s what scares them.
Corporate interests want to put a stop to this. They want to keep artists on the plantation. They’re trying to change the way the internet operates to make it more like radio and TV where they control the content.
They want to reshape the internet, which was created by the government with taxpayer money, so that their content and services---and those of companies that pay steep fees---will travel quickly along a “fast lane.” Everything else, like “Comedy Nation This Week” would be stuck in a “slow lane.” They want to charge different prices for different things. They also want to be able to charge website owners rates for them to be able to access their customers. They want to make money off of both sides.
SOPA and PIPA are a flanking a move in the corporate attack on net neutrality. You think traffic’s bad in LA, wait until you get in the internet slow lane. Hey, I have enough troubles already. Not only do I have road rage. I have walking rage. Now I’m gonna have internet rage.
Maybe it’s time to re-regulate the mainstream media. Regulation of vertical monopolies is not necessarily a bad thing. This is James Tripp, Inc.; I’ll be back next week with another Trippitorial, God Damnit!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
will be live tweeting the
#GOPDebate tonight beginning @5 pm. Meanwhile, relive my 2008 campaign: youtube.com/playlist?list=…
is in favor of an "open Presidency." youtube.com/playlist?list=…
They have to stop making these introductory films for the debates.
We get it.
likes the urgent music.
We need another debate during the debate.
They're all wearing the same suit. It's
Karaoke singing opens.
It's good to be here with Ted Healy and
Being offending is the best defense.
I'm shocked...shocked to find there's gambling...
Now it's the elite media that's to blame!
There's a lot of
"There are three programs I would cut..."
"We need a military so strong that
doesn't have to serve in it."
The expression on
#MittRomney 's face makes it seem like he has
a hot water bottle in his pants.
Which candidate will drop out during the commercial break?
They're all still there.
We need to send someone to Washington who's lived in
How many rounds of golf has
"I'm standing for freedom." Did
#MittRomney write that line?
just blow that mike?
The mob rules!
We don't need someone talking to us like a professor.
"You voted before Reagan was Reagan..." Huh?
Soon there will only be three and