Friday, May 25, 2012

Trippitorial - "Space"

"Free Speech Show" - Cable News, Newspapers, Blogs and the Internet; What's happened to the News?

Here's today's podcast with panelists Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists examine the changing look of Modern media.

"Comedy Nation This Week" - May 25, 2012

Here's today's podcast with panelists Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss Net Neutrality, the Facebook IPO, the Space X launch, the latest Trippitorial and more.

Trippitorial - Space

This week, corporate America launched itself into space, and that’s a good place for it. Besides Earth, most of the rest of the Milky Way is unincorporated, which means, according to the United States Supreme Court, no persons live there.

I remember when NASA sent a probe to look for intelligent life on Mars. First, they should look for some here. Of course, instead of a probe, they’d probably use a drone. Maybe there’s some intelligent life in Yemen. Drones are better than probes because if you find an intelligent life form, you can blow it up, especially if it’s more intelligent than you.

Every year, NASA spends billions of dollars trying to contact alien life forms to let them know we're here. Maybe I don't want alien life forms to know that I’m here! You didn't see Native Americans sending up smoke signals to the Europeans: 'come get us!'

We can't let the aliens do to us what we’ve done to indigenous populations, even though we were just kidding. Besides I, for one, don't want to be running a casino in two hundred years. Maybe in thirty years...

Anyway, if man were meant to go into outer space, he wouldn't burn up during re-entry. Oh, you can go up there, you can go right ahead. Just don't come back.

That probe they sent to Mars indicated that there may have been life on that planet. I have enough trouble with the life on this planet. The probe found microscopic bacteria in a Martian rock. No wonder Martians are an extinct race. Who'd have sex with bacteria? Other bacteria, but that's not the point. The point is, if your species is gonna be around in a billion years, you have to be something somebody wants to have sex with. Maybe that’s not the point either.

I knew a girl once who said she'd had sex with aliens. She wouldn't have sex with me, but she had sex with aliens.

That’s definitely not the point. The point is it’s about time someone privatized space! It was getting too expansive.

I claim the second asteroid on the right for Queen Isabella of Spain!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Tripp vs. Romney

James Tripp vs. Mitt Romney
Presidential candidates James Tripp and Mitt Romney standing by what they said, whatever it was.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Trippitorial - "Robbing Banks"

"Free Speech Show" - Spirituality, Atheists and Religion

Here's today's podcast with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss spirituality, atheists, religion and my soon to be published book, The Hierophant.

Buy My Book:

"Comedy Nation This Week" - May 18, 2012

Here's today's podcast with me, Laurie Buckley, Dave Plunkett and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss the Facebook IPO, census demographics, Greece, Spain and more.

Trippitorial - Robbing Banks

The real profit to be made in robbing banks is if you’re the bank doing the robbing. As soon as you give a bank your money, they create fees so they don’t have to give it back. So if you deposit five dollars, they’ll create a five dollar fee for only having five dollars. They’ll call it a “low amount” fee. You should have had six. Of course, then it would be a six dollar fee. This is a good system…if you’re a bank.

When I was a kid, banks used to give you toasters to open an account. They wanted your business.  They treated their customers like customers. Of course, there was more regulation and more competition. With all the bank mergers going on, soon there will just be the Fed and one big commercial bank with an investing subsidiary left standing, neither of which our government will control.

Nowadays banks treat their customers like a teat to be milked. They are to be raped and pillaged. Customers are something banks tolerate. Customers are to be exploited. If they’re dumb enough to pay one fee, maybe they’ll pay two. And meanwhile, the bank will be gambling with your money.

Every time I go into a bank, I expect the teller to produce a gun and say, “Stick ‘em up!” They charge interest rates larger than Louie the loan shark and break you if you fail to repay in ways that Louie can only dream about. There are no usury laws. Who needs ‘em?

Bank lobbyists have managed to re-legislate most of the 1933 banking act, except for FDIC insurance. They like that. After all, if they’re going to gamble with depositor’s money, somebody has to pay for it.

Now JP Morgan Chase is on their way to losing 2.5, maybe 3 billion dollars. They call it hedging because if they called it what it really was, it would be illegal. If only we’d let them regulate themselves. They wouldn’t break any more laws because there wouldn’t be any.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Trippitorial - "Side Effects" - May 11, 2012

"Free Speech Show" - Aging, Retirement and Death

Here's today's podcast from New Dissident Radio with Laurie Buckley , Carrie Snow, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss aging, retirement and death.

"Comedy Nation This Week" - May 11, 2012

Here's today's podcast from New Dissident Radio with Laurie Buckley , Carrie Snow, James Tripp and host Bill Bronner:

Panelists discuss JP Morgan Chase, gay marriage, Mitt Romney, "the bully" and more.

Trippitorial - Side Effects

While laughter is the best medicine, in certain rare cases, listening to this Trippitorial can cause serious side effects, including, but not limited to: nausea, dizziness, drowsiness, dryness in mouth, wetness in mouth, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, indigestion and ejaculation problems.

Other side effects include increase in sweating, pain in abdomen, vomiting, changes in vision, nervousness, bloody nose, bloody stool, bloody United, fever, urinary incontinence and menstrual problems in women.

Do not listen to this Trippitorial if you also listen to Fox News, as this may cause a sudden, unsafe rise in blood pressure. Pregnant women should not listen to this Trippitorial.

Seek medical attention right away if any of these severe side effects occur while listening: anal leakage, rashes, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or other part of the body, night driving, sleep walking, hallucinations, increased urination, spontaneous masturbation, exaggerated feeling of well-being, painful erection or death.
This Trippitorial may cause symptoms it was purported to relieve.

Before listening to this Trippitorial, be sure to discuss with your doctor any other podcasts you may be listening to. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, may get an infection or are an infection.

This Trippitorial is not approved for the use of children under 18.
Consult with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to engage in comical activities. If you experience chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during laughing, or in the rare event of an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate attention.