Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Review of October 8, 2012 Free Speech Show from the Jewish Journal

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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Trippitorial - The Debates II

The debates are over and it’s about time. If this is the price for living in a democracy, I’m glad I don’t live in one.

The last debate was the debate of the smiley face versus the serious face. Obama had a different face for each debate. Romney just had the one---smiley face. In the first debate, Obama didn’t bring a face. He wasn’t there. In the second debate he brought a smiley face like Romney, but it didn’t fit him. In the last debate he brought his serious face, which sometimes bordered on annoyed. At one point during the last debate, I thought Obama was going to turn to Romney and say, “Mitt, you ignorant slut.”

In the second debate, Romney said he had a five point plan. He never named any of the points in his plan. That’s a good plan. In the third debate Mitt Romney said he had a plan for the future, which he will tell us about in the future.

Romney said pay equity for women was an important topic, but not to him. The first question in the foreign policy debate asked the candidates what they would do if there was a threat from abroad. This sounds like a question for the GOP! “You do what you’d do to any dame who gets out of line. You take away their charge card! And their reproductive rights.”

Romney has a bold plan for day 1 of his presidency: "on day 1, I will name it day 2!" his five point plan has six points. I would prefer 9-9-9.

Romney’s talking point on Benghazi was wrong, but he kept going.

“Go on.” That was the smiling Obama.

Romney wasn’t backing down from his debate prep. “That’s not how we rehearsed it! I just want to make sure you repeat what you said because that’s not what your understudy said in rehearsal.”

“Go on.”

If Mitt Romney gets elected president, he’ll send a Mormon mission to Iran. That’ll get them to disarm, or to zero in on a new target.

Romney’s plan for Syria? It’s worth more broken up.

Romney wants to be the education president, as long as the kids aren’t educated about him. "When I was Governor, our 4th graders came out number C."

When Mitt Romney talked about Israel, he started rhyming: “If Israel is under attack, Mitt Romney has got your back. Word to your mother. And would it kill you to call?”

Mitt Romney said he was a son of a…you’re darn right he is. At one point he referred to the audience as “folks” because he’s “folksy.” Mitt said he wanted to be America’s leader, but he needed the support of American voters and the support of magic underwear.
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Monday, October 22, 2012

Live Tweets from the 2012 Presidential Debates - Part 3

Will #BobSchieffer win the #debate?

#Threat from a broad? That's a question for #MittRomney!

#MittRomney will send a #mormonmission to Iran.

#Syria is worth more broken up! #Romney

#Romney has a policy for the future he will tell you about in the #future.

"Our 4th graders came out number C." #Romney

"Obama sank #Romney's #Battleship.

If #Israel is under attack, #Mitt got yo back. Word to yo motha.

#Obama is on the verge of calling #Romney an ignorant slut.

This is the #debate of the Smiley Face vs. the Serious Face.

"On Day 1, I will name it Day 2!" #JamesTrippforPresident

He's a son of a...what? #Romney

#Mitt called the audience "Folks" because he's #folksy.

#Mitt would like to be your leader with your support and the support of his magic underwear.

Part Tagg and Obama! They are incensed!
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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Live Tweets from the 2012 Presidential Debates - Part 2

October 16, 2012, 6:05 pm PST James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

#Romney isn't answering the question.

#Obama is answering the question.

#Romney has a 5 point plan? What's on of those points?

First instance of #Obama calling #Romney a liar. He has a new strategy.

#Romney won't be able to steal time tonight.

#Romney wants to privatize federal lands.

#Romney's not answering #Obama's charge that he flip-flopped on coal.

#Romney sounds like an Oil and Gas lobbyist.

Unsure of 5 point plan. Would prefer 9-9-9.

I think #Romney is about to pull a #JoeBiden.

Stifle, #Romney.

"Women's pay equity is an important topic, but not to me." #Romney

This #debate is being directed with fewer close ups than previous debate.

"My five point plan has six points:" https://www.facebook.com/jamestrippforpresident …

#Romney's answering a question!

#Romney's talking point is wrong and he's not backing down.

#Obama saved his 47% comment for his closer.

#Obama won the #debate and pulled ahead.

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Sunday, October 14, 2012

Trippitorial - The Debates

If I learned anything from the vice presidential debates, it’s that clearly, Joe Biden likes a good laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, although that’s not what the Doctor wrote on my prescription. I wonder if my stand-up act could get as many laughs from the Vice President as Paul Ryan’s answers. If Joe Biden was in the audience, I’d book Paul Ryan to headline a night of comedy.

I expected them to be standing at podiums like the presidential debate. Instead, it looked like Charlie Rose, although this Charlie had long, blond hair. Joe Biden acted like a schoolmaster and Paul Ryan was Peck’s bad boy. I was expecting the vice president to give him the switch. “Stop lying, boy!”

Biden was the big dog, Ryan was the puppy. Biden schooled the boy. Paul Ryan got his ass kicked. He needs to go back to the gym. What distinguished Paul Ryan was how much water he drank. He must have been getting a work out. “I have to stay hydrated.” He probably needed to pee half way through the debate. No wonder he didn’t do better.

If that debate were a prison, Paul Ryan would have been Joe Biden’s bitch. It was like shooting a dead horse. I think I heard Karl Rove's head explode during the debate, which may be a good thing.

Joe Biden’s face stole Ronald Reagan’s line, "There you go again!" He also alluded to another vice presidential debate when he said, "Now you're Jack Kennedy." That joke always works.

When asked what he could give to this country that no one else could, Paul Ryan said, “Honesty.” He is a pretty honest guy except for that answer. He didn’t even believe it himself. He couldn’t finish saying it. When he caught himself saying what he was saying, he tried to stop himself from saying it, but it was too late, because he had already said it, so he just started talking about something else. That’s why Joe Biden was laughing.

Maybe Paul Ryan would be a good student government vice president. I’m not so sure about Vice President of the United States, or on second thought, student government vice president.

Paul Ryan’s smile was even more uncomfortable than Mitt Romney’s. Romney had a smile on his face the whole debate that made me wonder about the material from which his magic underwear was made. “Boxers or magic underwear?” Whatever magic underwear he was wearing for the first debate, he should keep wearing them. Not only are they magic, they’re lucky too.

Romney finally figured out how to win a debate. Defund the moderator. PBS is too Big Bird to fail.

The first debate was on domestic issues. Romney prepared by making sure all his household servants had their green cards. Domestic issues. Hmmm…

I would have liked to see a debate between candidate Mitt Romney for President vs. candidate Mitt Romney for Governor. I wonder who would win. Candidate Mitt Romney for Governor showed up at the first debate. Obama wasn’t expecting that. He was prepared for that other Romney. But Romney thought, “This would be a good time to shake my Etch A Sketch.

“My campaign office will gladly issue a retraction Tuesday for my statement today.” Romney will say whatever you want him to say. His campaign can always disavow it later.

Mitt Romney’s biggest concern in the debate was that corporations won’t buy corporate jets if the corporate jet buying tax break is eliminated. I know I won’t.

Everybody was expecting zingers from Mitt Romney. In preparation for the debate, I drank Red Zingers. That was gonna be my drinking game. I was gonna drink every time Mitt Romney scored with a zinger. It’s a good thing I was already drunk. Mitt Romney needs to take my comedy class.

It was a boring debate. It could have used a streaker…As long as it wasn’t Chris Christie.

I live tweeted the debates this year. Who is reading debate tweets when everyone is tweeting? Nobody. Nobody’s reading anybody else’s tweets. It’s not social networking. It’s social masturbating.

During the debate Romney said he knew what to do with government land; sell it to corporations. There are no small businesses, only small business owners.

The next debate will be in the form of a town meeting. That’s my kind of town.
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Saturday, October 13, 2012

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Live Tweets from the 2012 Vice Presidential Debate

October 11, 2012, 5:54 pm PST James Tripp ‏@thejamestripp

The #tweeters are on the twack.

Is this #CharlieRose or a #VPDebate?

My #FlagPin is bigger than their flag pins.

#Ryan's smile is even more uncomfortable than #Romney's.

#Biden is schooling #theBoy.

wonders if his act could get as many laughs from #Biden as #Ryan's answers,

#Ryan is barely limping along.

It's a good thing the hospital had an emergency room.

#Ryan drops first #Zinger. He needs to take my Comedy Class.

"...suddenly seized with concern for the debt they created." Good one, #Joe.

#KarlRove's head is exploding. Good.

#PaulRyan is getting his ass kicked. He needs to go back to the gym.

If #JoeBiden is in the audience, I'm booking #PaulRyan to headline a night of #Comedy.

#JoeBiden's face stole #RonaldReagan's line, "There you go again!"

#Biden: "Now you're Jack Kennedy." That #joke always works.

#Biden is going to give #Ryan detention.

If this #debate were a prison, #PaulRyan would be #JoeBiden's bitch.

#JoeBiden continues to shoot a dead horse. #PaulRyan

#PaulRyan doesn't understand the function of the courts.

Honesty? From #PaulRyan? Bad answer.

#PaulRyan must need to pee.

#PaulRyan would be a good student government vice president.
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Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Live Tweets from the 2012 Presidential Debates - Part 1

In preparation for next week’s debate on domestic issues, #Romney made sure social security payments for his household servants are current.

is looking forward to the debate between candidate #MittRomney for President vs. candidate Mitt Romney for Governor. #2012Debates

is drinking Red Zingers in preparation for tonight's #debate.

will be looking for #zingers.

will drink every time #MittRomney scores with a #zinger.

will tweet about tweets about the #debate.

will fact check #JimLehrer.

Red and blue ties. I get it.

Obama gets first #zinger.

Who is reading #debate tweets when everyone is #tweeting?

#Romney has his first zinger. Got bigger laugh than #Obama's.

I want #MittRomney at my 20th anniversary.

47 training programs? #Romney likes that number.

Under #Romney, government land = land for corporations.

There are no small businesses, only small business owners.

"I'm glad you asked that question, but I wish you would ask another." #Romney

#Romney wants to defund the moderator.

#Obama is debating #Romney from another #debate.

#Romney just said the economy is growing.

Revenue? Revenschmoo.

will not get a corporate jet if tax break is eliminated.

This #debate could use a streaker.

#Romney believes in profits from #privatization.

#Regulation is fine as long as there are replacement regulators. #Romney

#Romney is better at memorizing lists than #RickPerry.

"The genius of America is...freedom" is going in my act. #Obama

"You're not entitled to your own facts" is a #zinger? I'm not drinking. #Romney

That smile on #Romney's face makes me wonder what material his magic underwear is made of.

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