It seems those chaps at the N.S.A. have been up to it again. They’ve been monitoring international e-mails, and while I’m no security risk, I’m afraid my security has been breached!
You see, I have been corresponding internationally. I recently discovered that I have some kind of a distant relative who was a Master Chef in Nigeria. Apparently he left behind a jolly good recipe for yellow cake. It just so happens that a solicitor living in Nigeria was able to get a hold of my e-mail address and he contacted me post haste. He informed me that on passing, Chef Ebenezer Montgomery Tripp left explicit instructions with him to bequeath this old Tripp family recipe to me! I didn’t even know I had a relative who was a Chef, let alone a Nigerian!
The only thing was that he needed money to facilitate the exchange of this transaction. And while I hesitated at first, after a series of e-mails, the solicitor, whose initials were D.C., convinced me to wire him the money to expedite the transaction. He assured me that a certain family of bakers in Iraq would offer me three times what I was paying him.
That was three weeks ago and I still haven’t received the documentation. Has the N.S.A. intercepted it? What if they get this recipe and give it away before I have a chance to sell it? What if they intercept it and forward me a forged recipe? A lot of people say that could never happen, but you’d be surprised. What if they leave the cake out in the rain? I may never have that recipe again!