"Comedy Nation This Week" - February 10, 2012

Here's today's episode of "Comedy Nation This Week" with me, Laurie Buckley and host Bill Bronner:

The Panel Discusses the mortgage settlement, Rick Santorum's wins, Catholics and contraception, and more.

Trippitorial: Super Pacs

I am announcing today that I will accept support from any outside Super Pac wishing to advocate for James Tripp for President, even though I am not running. This is not a reversal of position. This is a course correction. And while some may say I may have said something else in the past about some things, some people would be better off moving on to other things.

We’re not going to fight this fight we’re not in with one hand tied behind our back…backs…back. We can’t allow the people who are running to operate under a different set of rules from the people who are not running. The campaign that we are not in has to face the reality of the campaign that people are in.

While I may not have spoken out in favor of Super Pacs in the past, it is not important to note that I spoke out against them, because before you can be for something, you have to be against it. And how can you know for sure if you’re against something, if you never tried to be for something? I don’t think you can.

This is a good time for people with no affiliation to James Tripp to start saying bad things about people who are not James Tripp. You can start off by saying, “He’s no James Tripp!” What you end up saying about the bad people who are not James Tripp is no business of James Tripp and I distance myself from it. I am shocked by it, and I would ask the people who are saying it to stop saying it after everybody has heard what you said.

This is not a step I take lightly. As a matter of fact, I’m sitting down. The Citizen United ruling opened the door for more money and ad spending in the 2012 election cycle than in any previous election cycle in the history of the world and I want a piece of it, even though I am not running. It almost makes you wish somebody were saying something that wasn’t about somebody else, but I wouldn’t say that.

You know, my mother used to say, “If you have nothing nice to say about a person, don’t say anything at all.” I have nothing to say about my mother.

There are so many things to be said about so many people that people who are not affiliated with James Tripp need so much money to say them. You’re darn right Newt Gingrich is a lying, stinking, cheating methane producing poster boy for gluttony, but that’s not something I’d say. That’s something other people who are not James Tripp say about other people.

Newt wants to put a man on the moon? Somebody might say, “That’s a good place for him!” But I wouldn’t say that. I say, “Kudos to Newt for bringing the race of the races to space.” You’re darn right! We need to beat China to the moon before they build a wall around it!

I wouldn’t say anything bad about some of the other candidates who are in the race I’m not in, but somebody else would. If some other group wants to say that Romney’s not too bright, or that Gingrich is the closest this nation has come to running Jabba the Hutt for president, there’s nothing I can do about that.

It won’t be me bringing up Ron Paul’s racist past. I’m not the sort of person who would wish that when Rick Santorum was born again, he was born somewhere else.

This is not a time for candidates to be saying anything. This is a time for people who are not affiliated with the candidates to be saying things about people who aren’t affiliated to other people saying things!