The Panel discuss Super Tuesday, Religion in Politics and Brietbart's last release.
Trippitorial - Religion in Politics
I am tired of seeing religion in politics and I’m not too
crazy about it in churches. Ever since our money was converted to God in the
1950’s, I haven’t trusted in the government and I never really trusted in money.
During the 1950’s a new translation of E Pluribus Unum was apparently adopted
by the brave politicians of that time: “Out of many Gods, one,” a Christian
God. I wasn’t alive in the 1950’s, but thanks to a prohibition on birth
control, it wasn’t long before I would be. Shortly after I was born a
prohibition ensued in my family, but that’s another story, and one I don’t take
personally.
Up until the 1950’s, America had managed to keep religion
out of the national motto. Although, “George Washington, Son of God.” Was
rejected by John Adams in favor of “his Majesty the President,” which I wasn’t
too crazy about, but that’s another story.
Apparently, during the 1950’s, the founding fathers were
born again, not unlike the way dead victims of the Holocaust were reborn as
“Latter Day Saints.” I was born again. Now my mother really hates me.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Jesus. Why, when I was a boy,
I had one of those Jesus Christ plush toys, you know, the kind that sticks to
the inside of your car window with suction cups.
One thing the field of Republicans can agree on is that
they all love Jesus and they love him more than Obama loves Jesus, and he may
be a Muslim anyway. But while they’re all worshipping Jesus, they’re all
worshipping a different Jesus.
Newt Gingrich is worshipping the “Sick, heal thyself
Jesus.” This is a Jesus you don’t hear a lot about.
Rick Santorum is worshipping the Calvin and Hobbes Jesus. Rick talks to Jesus and Jesus talks back.
“I’m over here Rick. No, I’m over here. I’m over here. Jesus is everywhere!”
Mitt Romney’s Jesus was born in America. He was the first
and greatest American.
Ron Paul’s Jesus is an expletive when he thinks about the
other candidates in the GOP race.
They’re all worshipping different Gods too. I have to
wonder about Rick Santorum’s God. What God would want Rick Santorum to worship
him? Not me. That guy is not all there. I think the doctor dropped Rick
Santorum on his head during his circumcision.
I don’t know what God Newt is following, but he seems to
be having fun. I’ll bet it’s Bacchus. “Lovey, I think I’ll have another glass
of wine.”
Mitt is following a bunch of different Gods, or one God
who changes his mind a lot.
I don’t know if Ron Paul has a God, but chances are if he
does, his God would eliminate religion from the federal government. I don’t
think he would trust it on our money. I don’t think he trusts our money
either---well, it’s the Federal Reserve’s money. Let’s face it. And I don’t
trust them.
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