Showing posts with label election. Show all posts
Showing posts with label election. Show all posts
Thursday, April 07, 2016
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Live Tweets From The GOP Convention - Night 3
#RonaldReaganhologram
can't remember selling arms to Iran to pay for arms for #Contras.
#RonaldReaganhologram
is still only 2-dimensional.
Some men see things that are and ask, "Why?" #PaulRyan
sees things that never were and says, "Why not say they are?"
will be appearing as a hologram with Clint Eastwood at the
Republican convention.
#JohnBoehner's
orange face goes well with the red background.
I haven't been this excited since I wasn't.
Is #RonaldReagan
running again?
#Newt
looks like he's auditioning for a morning talk show with his wife. I'd pass.
Couldn't they get two microphones?
#Newt
should die his hair like #RonaldReagan.
Somebody figured out America isn't all old white men.
#GOP
will put Latinos on the road going South.
#Obama
is brushing up on his Spanish.
#God
bless God.
"Friends don't let friends drive drunk, so pick me up
at the airport."
If I didn't think #MittRomney's
religion was creepy before...
He avoided the draft by going on a mission...
Did this fire fighter belong to a union?
What was #MittRomney's
executor's fee?
#God
passes "Blessing Baton" to #MittRomney.
I don't feel so good myself. Bring flowers.
Marconi plays the mamba. #Webuiltthiscity
on government roads.
I don't get it.
"They don't know what it's like to risk money..."
because they don't have any. Get it?
Will there be a shareholder's vote after the film?
Drug Money.
"Where else but in America could you live in this
country?"
#MittRomney
didn't take a salary because he would have needed a stateside bank account to
cash the check.
Is this #AmericanIdol?
Is it too late to vote him off?
#MittRomney
is an Olympian God!
It was a #MagicFlag
made of #MagicUnderwear.
What's this song about? #America
I want the #GESmith
band for my high school mixer.
I think #ClintEastwood
is losing the debate.
"Get off my White House lawn!" #ClintEastwood
#JohnWayne
hologram will speak next to promo #BluRay
release of #GreenBerets.
#Obama
is sitting next to me in a chair.
It's always helpful when they remind me where I am. #USA
"My betters deserve better!" #MittRomney
Keep them doggies movin' Rawhide! Don't try to understand
'em Just rope and throw and grab 'em Soon we'll be living high and wide. #GOP2012
I attack your success, #MittRomney!
"Vote for me! I have a plan to create about a gazillion
new jobs." #JamesTrippforPresident
"If I am elected I will create new opportunities for
creators of job creators." #JamesTrippforPresident
#Castro's
Cuba---Drat! #MittRomney
Too many "God Bless Yous" tonight and not enough
sneezing.
Buy My Book:
Monday, February 20, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Live Tweets From GOP Debate
will be live tweeting tonight's GOP debate from the Congressional Gym's locker room.
Prediction for tonight’s debate: Mitt Romney will deny his Massachusetts Health Care plan 3 times before the cock crows.
Republican candidates are now debating who will lead "the Pledge of Allegiance."
Herman Cain wants us to elect him so he can get away from his grandchildren.
Why doesn't Godfather's Pizza hire 50,000 workers like McDonald's?
"My whole plan involves a plan." I'm voting for Pawlenty.
Why does Mittcare call it Obamacare?
Tim Pawlenty having trouble veering from script. Should take improv class.
Why can't I think of a phrase like Obamneycare?
Obamacare is to blame for everything! It ate my homework!
Those who don't remember history are condemned to be in this debate.
The set reminds me of the Lincoln-Douglas debate.
I'm not voting for anyone with Elvis and Johnny Cash on their iPod.
Mitt Romney is making the UAW the bad guy. I hope his car breaks down in front of a union shop.
I'm in favor of sending George Bush (either one) to Mars.
I think Michelle Bachman's eyelash extensions are breeding.
Gingrich wants to privatize Space exploration. I want him to privatize his campaign.
If Romney hates the Federal Government so much, maybe he ought to run for Massachusetts Governor.
Newt doesn't like "Dancing With the Stars" since Tom Delay was indicted during the finals.
Herman Cain introduces "Mediscare" into debate. Bravo!
Bachman can quote Obama. Maybe she should listen.
Tim Pawlenty memorized a lot of stuff to say.
Weiner is Googling Santorum.
Cain makes the others look moderate.
thejamestripp James Tripp
is taking a loyalty oath during the commercials.
Romney gives Bruins score and wins debate.
Santorum doesn't believe in evolution, but he does believe in de-evolution.
Republicans are in favor of people being alive. Bold position.
Santorum's grandfather came to this country to get away from his grandmother.
Cain and Pawlenty want to put the federal borders in the state's hands. More bureaucracy.
Natural gas discovered in New Hampshire!
Romney wants to turn over military command to the Taliban. That doesn't seem right.
Ron Paul seems like the adult. The others are rascally urchins.
People are not in our national interest.
Feckless is a good word.
It's not my favorite word.
Michelle Bachman wants Steve Tyler to pick her vice president.
Newt can kiss the audience's ass all he wants; he was still run out of Congress by the villagers.
Scene.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Friday, October 29, 2010
"The DAMage Report" - October 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Comedy Nation This Week - The Inauguration
James Tripp, Carrie Snow, Rick Overton, Troy Conrad and Andrew Koenig join host John Fugelsang. Filmed January 21, 2009.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Talking about the Strike Authorization Vote on "The Damage Report"
Here's a link to a radio show I did today where we talk about the SAG strike authorization vote.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
"The DAMage Report" Radio Show
Here's a link to the radio show I did yesterday, which includes a voting guide for California propositions:
The DAMage Report with guest James Tripp
We're not taking any more calls!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Free Speech Show - "Election Round-Up"
James Tripp, Gary Gordon, Laurie Buckley, Johnny Dam and host Bill Bronner discuss the upcoming election. Filmed November 1, 2008.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Free Speech Show - "The Economic Mess"
James Tripp, Tere Joyce, Johnny Dam and Laurie Buckley discuss the economic mess with host Bill Bronner. Filmed October 1, 2008.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Warren Beatty and Annette Bening Can Come to My Rally
Warren Beatty and Annette Bening got turned away at an invitation only rally for Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. I know how they feel. I wasn’t invited either. The Governor was making campaign stops all this weekend and Mr. and Mrs. Beatty were not invited to any of them. Me either.
I can understand why I wasn’t invited, but what does it say about the state of our state when our celebrities are excluded from airport hangers? If Warren Beatty and Annette Bening can’t get into a party where they would have been the most interesting guests, what hope do the rest of us have? Can you imagine if I had tried to get into that party? The bouncer would have been like, “Hey, pal, I just turned away Warren Beatty and Annette Bening. What was your name again?”
What kind of a world do we live in where people think they can treat celebrities like this? These aren’t just people, they’re movie stars. These people are famous. Maybe if Mr. Beatty had started rapping like he did in that movie, they would have let him in. Maybe the guy at the door didn’t know who he was. This is no way to treat a celebrity, let alone two celebrities.
I feel bad for Warren Beatty and Annette Bening. It makes me want to hold a rally just so I can invite them---as long as they don’t bring any big signs, or the other people who were on that bus with them. I have nothing against the other people, but I don’t think they were famous. They’re on their own.
Still, the next time Warren Beatty and Annette Bening have a party, I bet I won’t be invited. I don’t blame them. After all, I’m not a celebrity.
Friday, November 04, 2005
I Have No Comment to Make About an Ongoing Investigation
Everything I have to say about what I won’t say anything about I’ve already said. I can understand your wanting to read along in the hope that there might be some further clarification of the point I really can’t make any statement about, but that just won’t be the case. We’re going through a very serious investigation and there’s no reason to investigate the investigation. If we start saying things now, the next thing you know, we’ll be saying things.
People want me to comment on the investigation, which I’m not going to do. That’s why I made that the headline. Read it again: “I have no comment to make about an ongoing investigation.” There are a lot of ongoing investigations and I’m not going to comment on any of them. There are some investigations that I’m not even the target of and I have nothing to say about them. Someday I may have something to say about something but that day is not today. I really can’t say what it is that I’m not saying anything about.
There are many things I can’t comment on and I’m not going to say if this is one of those things I’m not going to talk about. This is an investigation and it’s a serious investigation and it’s an investigation. You wouldn’t want somebody talking about your investigation if you were being investigated and I’m not going to talk about this investigation. What investigation are we talking about? Don’t tell me.
Let’s not lose focus on the things we shouldn’t lose focus on. We have an agenda of agenda like things that we must use to form…an agenda. If people start asking a lot of questions the next thing you know is that people will be asking a lot of questions. There are no answers and I really can’t tell you why there are no answers. If I had an answer for what the answer was, that would be the answer.
I hope this clears everything up. Investigations are very investigatory and it would be wrong to say anything about that. Remember, in this country a man is innocent if he hires a good lawyer. If he hires two lawyers, that’s even better. If he fires one lawyer and hires three new lawyers, he’ll probably be acquitted.
I really have no further comment about the things I won’t say anything about. At a future date I hope to issue a statement to reiterate what was not said here.
People want me to comment on the investigation, which I’m not going to do. That’s why I made that the headline. Read it again: “I have no comment to make about an ongoing investigation.” There are a lot of ongoing investigations and I’m not going to comment on any of them. There are some investigations that I’m not even the target of and I have nothing to say about them. Someday I may have something to say about something but that day is not today. I really can’t say what it is that I’m not saying anything about.
There are many things I can’t comment on and I’m not going to say if this is one of those things I’m not going to talk about. This is an investigation and it’s a serious investigation and it’s an investigation. You wouldn’t want somebody talking about your investigation if you were being investigated and I’m not going to talk about this investigation. What investigation are we talking about? Don’t tell me.
Let’s not lose focus on the things we shouldn’t lose focus on. We have an agenda of agenda like things that we must use to form…an agenda. If people start asking a lot of questions the next thing you know is that people will be asking a lot of questions. There are no answers and I really can’t tell you why there are no answers. If I had an answer for what the answer was, that would be the answer.
I hope this clears everything up. Investigations are very investigatory and it would be wrong to say anything about that. Remember, in this country a man is innocent if he hires a good lawyer. If he hires two lawyers, that’s even better. If he fires one lawyer and hires three new lawyers, he’ll probably be acquitted.
I really have no further comment about the things I won’t say anything about. At a future date I hope to issue a statement to reiterate what was not said here.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Rob Reiner Never Called
I spent all Wednesday night waiting for a phone call from Rob Reiner. He was in Los Angeles making calls in opposition to Proposition 75 and I’m a registered Los Angeles voter. Every time my phone rang, I answered, “Hello, Rob Reiner?” And when it wasn’t him, I’d say, “I can’t talk now, I’m expecting a call, a very important call.”
I have call waiting, but I hung up on everyone. After all, I wasn’t waiting for just any call. I was waiting for a call from Rob Reiner. “Hello?”
I even knew how the call was going to go. I’d answer the phone, “Hello, Rob Reiner?”
And he’d say, “Yes. How did you know?”
And I’d say, “I’ve been expecting your call.”
And he’d say, “I want to talk to you about Proposition 75.”
And I’d say, “Oh, that old thing?”
And he’d say, “This is a very important Proposition.”
And I’d say, “Of course it is, Rob Reiner.”
And he’d say, “This Proposition will stifle the political voice of unionized workers.”
And I’d say, “You are right, Rob Reiner.”
He may or may not be right, but could it hurt to give him a little positive reinforcement? And besides, if I didn’t agree with him, he’d just call back. I can’t hang around my phone every night waiting for him to call.
And what if he is right? After all, Rob Reiner has his own political advisor. How many people do you know with their own political advisor? The only political advisor I ever had was my father. His advice: “Vote Republican, you idiot!” How can you argue with that?
But Rob Reiner never called. I felt cheap. I felt used. I felt like maybe I just wasted my time waiting for him to call. I felt like maybe I’d have to read about this proposition myself. Drat!
Tonight I’m going to turn on the radio and wait to hear the commercial Warren Beatty has taped for the California Nurses Association. It’s 60 seconds long and he wrote it himself. That definitely deserves some positive reinforcement. How many people do you know who have written their own 60 second radio commercial? Not me.
Of course, we can see Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger anytime we want. He’s done a couple of his own commercials. I don’t think he wrote them, but he does have a lot of advisors.
And it’s not too late for Rob Reiner to call. I actually would like to hear from him. You see, what I really want to do is be an actor. Someday I hope to have my own advisors. Call me, Rob Reiner.
I have call waiting, but I hung up on everyone. After all, I wasn’t waiting for just any call. I was waiting for a call from Rob Reiner. “Hello?”
I even knew how the call was going to go. I’d answer the phone, “Hello, Rob Reiner?”
And he’d say, “Yes. How did you know?”
And I’d say, “I’ve been expecting your call.”
And he’d say, “I want to talk to you about Proposition 75.”
And I’d say, “Oh, that old thing?”
And he’d say, “This is a very important Proposition.”
And I’d say, “Of course it is, Rob Reiner.”
And he’d say, “This Proposition will stifle the political voice of unionized workers.”
And I’d say, “You are right, Rob Reiner.”
He may or may not be right, but could it hurt to give him a little positive reinforcement? And besides, if I didn’t agree with him, he’d just call back. I can’t hang around my phone every night waiting for him to call.
And what if he is right? After all, Rob Reiner has his own political advisor. How many people do you know with their own political advisor? The only political advisor I ever had was my father. His advice: “Vote Republican, you idiot!” How can you argue with that?
But Rob Reiner never called. I felt cheap. I felt used. I felt like maybe I just wasted my time waiting for him to call. I felt like maybe I’d have to read about this proposition myself. Drat!
Tonight I’m going to turn on the radio and wait to hear the commercial Warren Beatty has taped for the California Nurses Association. It’s 60 seconds long and he wrote it himself. That definitely deserves some positive reinforcement. How many people do you know who have written their own 60 second radio commercial? Not me.
Of course, we can see Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger anytime we want. He’s done a couple of his own commercials. I don’t think he wrote them, but he does have a lot of advisors.
And it’s not too late for Rob Reiner to call. I actually would like to hear from him. You see, what I really want to do is be an actor. Someday I hope to have my own advisors. Call me, Rob Reiner.
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